Sunday, March 22, 2015

A fear of flying

-- Pictureless post written on my iPhone as I act out the nightly "sitting" ritual (where all lights are off, aaron lies in bed and I rock in the rocking chair for an unspecified amount of time) --

This was a fantastic, busy weekend. It was Aaron's birthday weekend (he's TWO!!!) which meant a birthday haircut complete with faux hawk style, trip to the Aquarium, and a super fun friends and family party at our house. Don't worry, I'm  sure I will pump out a long post about all of that fun. 

But right now what's on my mind is the dreaded upcoming business trip this week. 

I put tremendous faith in statistics until it comes to air travel. I know I'm far more likely to die in a car crash but it doesn't matter: I'm TERRIFIED of flying. And to make it worse, this time I'm traveling on a propeller plane. My first time ever. I would totally be popping Valium except I have to drive at the destination. Oh yeah, and actually work. 

Thanks to this panic-level fear of flying, every time I leave, it's not just emotions of departing from Aaron for a few days, but the terrorizing thought of "what if I die in the flight and never make it back?" People roll their eyes at me, but no amount of reasoning can make these thoughts go away. And it's really a terrible thing to imagine not being there for my child. 

So needless to say, I'm quite on edge and probably will be so until my feet are firmly planted back in Philadelphia soil Wednesday night. Wish me luck. Say a prayer. And send some Valium. 

1 comment:

  1. Happy, happy 2nd birthday to your little man, and happy mom-aversary to you! Will be praying for your safe travels and for peace as you make them- I'm sure it will be over before you know it!