Friday, March 20, 2015

Personality Types for Mom

Last fall, I wrote this post about Personality Types for Children, 
based off the book Nature vs Nurture. 

Just recently I finished MotherStyles
which takes the same Myers-Briggs Personality Typing 
as applied in the book above, 
but instead applies it to the reader as a mother. 

I LOVED this book. 

Although Nature vs Nurture is focused on the child, 
I spent much of the book also figuring out my type. 
If I were to do it again, 
I would read this book first to determine MY type
and then read Nature vs Nurture to determine my child's type. 

What I love about this book, too, 
is that when its using scenarios to "type" yourself, 
it doesn't use randomly abstract scenarios, 
but rather, what is your gut reaction as a parent
which is much easier for me to relate 
since this is what I do every day. 

Through this book, 
I confirmed that I am ESFJ.
(butchered descriptions are available in my last post)
 I also confirmed that I am almost entirely EQUAL 
in Feeling (F) and Thinker (T). 

The book did a great job of pointing out 
that if you are almost equal, 
it could be based on how you were raised. 
This makes sense because I have two Thinker (T) parents, 
and therefore although my natural reaction is to be a Feeler (F), 
I have very strong Thinker (T) tendencies because of the way I was raised. 

The second half of this book discusses the parenting implications of personality test. 

Several of the chapters discuss how your personality would interact with your husband and your children.  These chapters are really only valuable if you know either.  The text offers some "hints" as to what your husband may be, but I didn't find them helpful. However, I think this could be easily solved by sitting down one's spouse and asking him to take the personality test.
I know my husband is an introvert, but don't know much else. 
Maybe next date night? 

As for children, I would highly recommend reading Nurture by Nature because that book does an outstanding job of highlighting a child's type. 

Aside from the interaction chapters,
there were a few about how mothers tend to parent based on their type. 
For example, I am one who tends to parent based on needs
I see that my child's basic needs are fulfilled, 
and therefore feel that I am an adequate parent. 
This is probably why things like nutrition are so important to me. 

This does not imply, of course, that other mothers do not care about their child's needs, 
but rather than mothers measure their own success differently. 
Some mothers focus more on the happiness of their child, 
and measure their success as a mother based on the child's joy. 

While I do want Aaron to be happy, 
I recognize that sometimes he just isn't 
(welcome to toddlerhood), 
and focus my attention on the physical needs
This was particularly eye-opening for me. 

In summary, my recommendation to any mother would be : 
1) Read the first half of MotherStyles to determine your type. 
2)  Switch to Nurture by Nature to determine your child's type. 
3) Ask your husband to take Myers-Briggs. 
4) Switch back to the second half of MotherStyles to learn how one's style interacts with children and husband alike.

1 comment:

  1. I will be honest and say that I didn't really read any parenting books, and although I probably won't read these either, they do sound more interesting since they aren't "how to" guides as much as a resource to make you more aware about your style of parenting. I am normally an ESTJ to the extreme, so I wonder if it would be the same as a mom?

    And would it be wrong to say that I measure my success as a mom based on how well my children sleep? ;) Kidding... mostly!