Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Nighttime Noises

I hate being alone at night. 
My most hated part of Big Law Firm World is the late nights, 
this tops even the ruined weekends


Adam leaves the house at 8am each morning to drop-off Aaron at daycare and catch the train into the city
A "good" arrival time home is 7pm. 
An "average" arrival time is 8-9pm. 
A "late" night is 10pm +. 
And a "horribly shitty night" is midnight and later. 


I can keep myself occupied until 10pm, 
but the midnight/later nights are the worst. 


And to add insult to injury, 
these horribly shitty nights come in clusters. 
We can go a few weeks with good/average/late nights, 
but then the week of the horribly shitty night comes. 
Sometimes for five nights in a row, 
he's coming home after midnight. 


Obviously, this is more horrible for him than it is for me and my sleep habits. 
I used to work hours like this back in my auditing days, 
and I have exactly ZERO idea how I did it. 
The stress, the sleep deprivation, the poor diet habits, 
it's all bad for your system.


That said, 
this is my blog so I get to ramble on about how I'm the victim in all this


On these horribly shitty night, I force myself to go to bed, 
because staying up till midnight watching bad TV is horrible the following day. 
And since these nights come in clusters, midnight TV-watchings are just not sustainable for a whole week. 


But as I sit in bed, 
all I hear are... 

NOISES. 


We live in a townhouse
Granted, they are very well insulated townhomes. 
We have had a baby on one side, 
and dogs on the other, 
and have NEVER heard either a cry or a bark. 
Not once. 


However, there a variety of odd sounds that filter through our "soundproof" walls: 
1. Walking up the stairs. 
2. When the dog and cat play chase around the house. 


I couldn't tell you why the rushing of the dog/cat is audible but the barking is not
And the walking up the stairs... you can't hear it every day, 
but every now and then you can get the faint hint of the stair squeak. 
It's CLEARLY not as loud as walking up our own stairs. 
But it's there. 


We sleep with the fan on at night, 
because I like the white noise and air circulation. 
But sometimes... 
when I'm lying in bed all alone... 
I think I hear something. 


The first thing I do is check that the front and back door are locked. 
99% of the time they are. 
But every once in a blue moon - 
like tonight - 
I forgot to lock the front door in the madness of getting Aaron inside. 

ENSUE PANIC. 

My typical routine is grabbing a kitchen knife and a golf club iron, 
and checking ever crevice of the house. 
Did you know you can crush a skull with a golf club iron? 
Don't google it, but you can. 
And our Cutco knives... 
well, let's just say they are so sharp then when you cut yourself, 
it doesn't even hurt (until you notice the blood and your mind kicks in that OMG, I'M INJURED), because THAT is how sharp the blade is. 

Oh, and then I sleep with the golf club iron next to me. 


To quote Scar... 
Be prepared. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm the same way (paranoid and hyper-aware of all noises and potential noises when alone at night), so yet again, another reason I'm thankful Brian doesn't leave me solo often!

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