Friday, October 30, 2015

The Mom Questions You Cant Ask

I am a naturally inquisitive person who loves to ask questions. 
I am also impossible to offend. 
AND, to top it all off, 
I never think before I speak. 

All this combined, 
I'm probably the #1 candidate to ask a question that isn't supposed to be asked. 


HOWEVER, 
there is one aspect of my personality 
thing that saves the world from my insensitive questions:
my ESFJ personality.
Although I often fail, I work hard to be sensitive to people's feelings. 
So once I learn that a question is taboo, 
it's rare I'll ever ask it again.  


Prime example
Someone announces a twin pregnnacy. 
Emily a few years ago: "Oh, are they natural or from fertility treatments?"
Emily now: "Oh that's wonderful!" 

The second answer is the politically correct answer. 
I've read entire venting posts/articles/etc on how the second answer is the correct answer. 


Another example:


 Yes, I get that many of these questions are insensitive. 
I'm not stupid. 

 But. 
BUT...
If we're being honest here... 
and I mean REALLY REALLY honest...
I think we've all gotten a little too sensitive. 
And really could just lighten the hell up


Scary Mommy came out with this article called: 


YES THAT'S HOW I FEEL! 


I get that everyone has their different levels of privacy. 
I am a classic over-sharer. 
(Hello, I BLOG MY LIFE!
But many - most? - are not. 
And to question is to intrude. 


But from MY perspective... 
My questions are never meant to criticize, 
or size up other mothers, 
or one-up myself. 
My questions are because I'm curious
I want to learn. 
I want to understand. 
 I am sincerely, genuinely interested in what you have to say 
about whatever situation you are in. 


But that's not appropriate anymore. 
Sigh.

3 comments:

  1. I'm naturally nosy and curious and I probably offend people left, right, and centre. I always preface my questions with "If you don't want to answer you don't have to and I'm happy to talk about my experience with this." Then I ask my question. I think once or twice someone has said, "I prefer not to talk about that" and I'm fine with it. But I've also had tons of great conversations with people. Who might then walk away thinking, "Wow! Does she ask really intrusive questions" but I feel like it's a person's choice if they want to engage with me.

    Like the writer of the article I want to know how other people do real life so I can figure out how to do it too.

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  2. I saw this going around and totally agree- everyone is offended about everything now! And I just don't care (that much, anyway)!

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  3. Totally agree! With some bloggers, there is almost nothing you can say that doesn't offend them in some way.

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