Monday, November 9, 2015

I Couldnt Decide on a Title

I wrote this post a few weeks ago 
and decided not to publish it then. 
I had other [happier] posts, 
and so decided to postpone this parental debby downer. 
But TODAY is your LUCKY DAY! 

Read on for a series buzzkill of parenting. 

***********

There are some days I feel like I'm losing control. 

I realize that's pretty silly to write, particularly as a mom. 
We moms can't control everything.  
Hell to the F no. 

But I have to honestly say that despite being a control freak, 
I'm usually good at recognizing things I can't control. 
I don't get bent out of shape over Adam's long hours at Big Law Firm 
because I don't have control 
(and quite frankly, neither does he!). 
Weather, sickness, and the like are all things that you have to take as they come. 


With Aaron, I made sure to NOT over-control him as a baby/toddler. 
I let him run through the mall because why not?
 I let him get messy and take tumbles and whatnot 
because that's all part of learning and development. 


But recently I feel like he's spiraling into this very difficult, non-listening child. 


All veteran parents are rolling their eyes and mumbling "terrible twos!" 


Yes, I get that they are terrible. 
I understand he's going to throw tantrums when he doesn't get his way. 
Fine. 
But what his driving me absolutely freaking bonkers is that he's just stopped listening. 
I can't tell you how many times I repeat myself, 
then finally get down, 
cup his face in both of my hands, 
and sternly repeat myself. 

It used to be I could say something once and he'd listen. 
Now I sound like such a broken record that I annoy myself


And it's not like there aren't consequences. 
You don't hold my hand in the parking lot, I pick you up. 
You throw the toy, you lose the toy. 
You hit, you get a timeout. 
This isn't rocket science. 


Yet I don't feel like I'm making any improvement. 
I feel like I'm going backward and it drives me NUTS. 

***********

Since writing this, 
I feel like things have improved. 
Why? 
I really don't know. 


Maybe as I ease out of first trimester exhaustion, 
I've regained some of my patience. 

Maybe I've found ways to adapt my behavior 
to identify the situations ahead of time, 
and stay ahead of the onslaught of frustration. 


Maybe it was just a phase on his part.


I don't really know. 

BUT, 
just when you think it's all flowers and sunshine... 


I picked Aaron up at daycare last week and found out 
he slapped one of his teachers across the face
I was stunned. 
Speechless. 
Like... whaattt? 

We had a "long talk"
 (or as long as you can with a toddler), 
and some consequences
(no Pet Store after daycare and no watching Thomas at night)

The next morning on the way to daycare, 
he announced to Adam: 
"I no hit so I can go Pet Store and watch Thomas." 

And sure enough, he didn't hit that day. 
Or since. 

***********


I always feel like Aaron has gone through phases 
of Monster Nightmare Child 
and total Angel. 
How much do I and my emotions affect these phases? 
I'm sure more than I think. 
But that doesn't make it any easier. 
***********
I struggle with how much negative stuff to put on a blog. 
No one likes a debbie downer. 
But at the same time, 
I find my favorite posts are when other bloggers 
write about the shit of life. 
It just makes it so much more relatable. 
"Oh good, her picture perfect children are monsters, too.  Whew!" 
Misery loves company. 
So here is me. 
Writing about parenting struggles. 
Yawn. 
Now go read something happier and much more uplifting. 
(source - even though I read you're not supposed to source pins... 
BUT there are perks to not being a famous blogger)

2 comments:

  1. So I don't even think I have to tell you that I can completely relate and that I sound like a broken record (x2) most of the time with the twins. And although I don't think they have slapped their teacher (... yet!), they have definitely slapped/kicked us before, so I know that frustration well!! Anyway, in case you haven't heard it today, you are doing a great job and Aaron is fortunate to have a mommy that cares enough about him to discipline him and teach him about consequences, because a lot of mommies don't do that!!

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  2. My niece is being raised by Dave's parents and she rarely hears the word "No!" Trust me when I quadruple AMEN Amanda's last sentence. You are doing a great job.

    This stage of parenting is H-A-R-D. And, I'm sorry to say, it comes back. We're currently at a stage with Rachel where she is needing to re-learn how to listen and it is tough. And some days I feel like pulling my hair out and some days (like this morning) I give her extra hugs because she is doing so well.

    Of course, she probably needs the extra hugs when she's not listening either but let's not go there :)

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