Thursday, June 23, 2016

3 is not my favorite age

I've wanted to write this post for a while. 
And I figure I should hurry up and write it before I change my mind. 
I want this documented. 
I don't want my parental brain to forget this later on. 
Here goes... 

3 is not my favorite age. 

The Personality Typing book "Mother Styles" mentions that some people are better equipped for certain ages than others.  
Some people may be overwhelmed with the baby stage, 
but feel comfortably at home in the teenager stage. 
It's based on our personality type and how we deal with situations at hand. 

Now that I have an infant again, 
I feel like this is a stage I'm very comfortable with. 
Granted, Oliver is basically the world's easiest baby, but hear me out. 

I was talking to a girlfriend who is due with her second baby in July. 
We talked about how she gets so stressed and panicked when infants cry. 
Even when Oliver started to cry she got stressed. 
But now that her daughter is 2.5, she feels very comfortable and at ease. 
Even the tantrums don't really bother her. 
"She's like my little sidekick," she said. 

Meanwhile, I feel the opposite. 
And then we had a good laugh about trading kids, 
where I take both babies and she takes the toddlers. 
Chuckle, chuckle, haha. 
No seriously, can we do this? 

I think one of the greatest strengths you need for the infant stage is STAYING CALM
That I can most certainly do. 
I don't get frazzled or distraught over much. 
When Oliver cries, I look to comfort him for sure, 
but my blood pressure doesn't rise in panic if he doesn't stop crying. 
I feel confident that I can eventually diagnose the problem 
(more often than not: "here, take this boob!") 
and it will eventually be all ok. 
It may take a while (like those terribly awful witching hours) but eventually everything will be okay again. 
No need to panic. 

With a toddler, the greatest virtue you can have is PATIENCE
If there was ever a virtue that I epically fail at, 
it's patience. 
I have no patience. 

So when I'm tired or sick  
and Aaron starts those 3-year-old antics, 
my patience drops out from under me in 30 seconds flat. 
And we all know what a toddler does when a parent loses patience... 
it just gets worse

Of course, in all fairness, 
there are things I love about this age. 
I love the things he says. 
Watching his little mind connect the dots. 
Every now and then he'll say something 
and all I can think to respond with is... 
"Wow, yes, you are right about that." 
Because I never thought of it that way. 

So yes, I still love my child and all. 
But let it be known that this stage is not my favorite. 

I'm not sure what sort of virtues you need for elementary school, 
middle school, 
and those dreaded teenage years. 
I'm hoping I will be much more stocked in those virtues than the ones needed now. 


  1. I am so with you on this, but the unfortunate part is that I lack patience AND I lack the ability to remain calm, so pretty much every stage of the twins' short lives has been stressful for me so far, ha! Maybe that's why I've never been able to imagine having more children?!

  2. Now multiply him by 18 and make 2/3 of them special needs and you have my life! My advice - walk away. I find with three year olds, they're usually throwing a tantrum because they've been told no, not because they've been told to do something. "Just walk away" is actually a real behavior analysis technique - no joke! It's called walk and peel.