Friday, October 28, 2016

A comedy of WTFs

A smattering of WTF things that all happened in ONE day. 

***

Adam worked until 2:30am so I did preschool dropoff
and then planned to go shopping after. 
Oliver had pooped and, now that he is on solids, 
his poop is that think mushy "toothpaste" poop. 
For some sleep deprived reason, I decided the best place to change him would be the front seat of the car, with me sitting in the driver seat, and all the doors closed because it was cold out. 
It was, by far, the most awkward diaper change I'd ever attempted. 
The poop was everything
And... 
...I ran out of wipes 
... AND ripped a tag off his diaper. 

That should have been my first clue the day was going to be interesting. 

***

A few hours later, both kids down for nap (er, quiet time), 
 I settled down for lunch. 
I was almost done my salad
 (organic lettuce, tomato, cucumber, feta, homemade dressing), 
when I noticed that the lettuce on my fork was a bit spiky. 
I pulled on it and... 
oh yes, there was a large dead grasshopper in my salad. 

Yes, that thing was on my fork, 
and I almost ate it

*** 

Feeling pretty done with the day, 
I opted to forgo any quality parenting post-nap 
and instead took Aaron out for ice cream. 
I found this adorable little frozen yogurt shop nearby 
("Top This" in Lafayette Hill).
 No one was there except the two teenage girls working, 
and they were so sweet with Aaron. 
When the girl was refilling all the toppings, 
Aaron was asking her questions about the candies (per his usual self) 
and she kept giving him little samples of Reese's pieces, hot fudge, etc. 

Finally, time to go, Aaron had to go to the bathroom, 
so we headed back to the small bath. 
He pooped, of course. 
Washed hands and headed back to the shop. 
Another teenage couple was there by now. 
Aaron walked right up to the friendly girl employee, 
and in that nice quiet little shop,  
and announced at the top of his lungs, 
with great zeal: 
"I pooped!" 

It's a good thing I don't embarrass easily. 

2 comments:

  1. No no no. To all of that. ESPECIALLY THE BUG. I would have LOST it.

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  2. Ha that sounds like a fun day indeed... I am totally more grossed out about the grasshopper than the poop stuff, so I guess that makes me a mom!

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