Monday, October 10, 2016

SAHM vs Working Mom: Alone Time and Adult Conversations

I posted about SAHM being easier because of Control, 
and Allena brought up some very specific aspects of SAHM-hood that I also feared
(even if they didn't make my SAHM Fear Post)
I wrote her a mega-novel of an email response 
but realized I should probably just document my thoughts on it here. 
If only so Future SAHM-Veteran Emily can look back 
and know what SAHM-Amateur Emily was thinking.  

Alone Time

I'm surprised to say that I don't find this to be a problem at all. 
Aaron spends 2.5 hours in his room in the afternoon for "nap" 
(he rarely ever nap, he plays, but whatever, he's IN his room
and Oliver spends that time napping (actually napping) in the swing. 
This is my most alone time and even though I can't leave the house, I relish this time of silence and productivity. 

Then when Aaron is at preschool MWF mornings, 
I just have Oliver which feels so easy it's practically alone time. 
That's the time I do brunch with girlfriends, shopping trips, and all sorts of other things that are mind-numbingly difficult with a three-nager.

Sometimes I wish I had my babysitter to come in the afternoons (damn you, college!), 
but I don't miss her like I expected. 
Perhaps it's because Oliver won't take a bottle, and therefore leaving him is more trouble than it's worth. 

Perhaps its that both kids go to bed at 7pm, 
which gives me a solid 2+ hours of total alone time. 
I can have a glass of wine and just chill in whatever way I wish. 

So in the end, does the lack of alone time bother me? 
Nope. Not yet. 

Adult Conversations

I love me some adult conversations. 
I talk A LOT and it's always more fun to talk when someone is there to listen. 
When I used to work from home (infrequent as it was), 
I hated that my conversations were all via phone and IM. 
I much preferred wandering around the office and loitering at someone's desk. 

So how is it as a SAHM? 
Honestly, I don't know why, but it doesn't bother me a bit. 
I still get together with girlfriends for playdates
and I'm texting Adam like 24/7. 
But yes, some days I don't talk to another adult until Adam comes home, 
and I don't know why but it doesn't phase me. 

I asked my mother-in-law about this last week. 
She and I have similar personalities 
(both of us our Super-Extroverts and Super-Productive individuals)
and she said it never bothered her either. 
Perhaps we are just such social individuals that we create our own adult conversations without noticing?  I truly don't know the answer.  

Now, sometimes I don't want Aaron to TALK AT ALL.  
I mean, he's a chatterbox like his mama and sometimes I just need silence. 
Hence why that 2.5-hour "nap time" is like golden. 
And if I really start to lose my mind, there's always the back-up Daniel Tiger episodes. 
But overall, I like having someone to chat with! 

So that's my thoughts on those two topics. 

What other aspects of SAHM vs Working Mom can you think of? 


  1. I do think things like texting and social media make it easier for extroverts like us to stay in touch without actually seeing people, so I can imagine that helps! I always give Allison a hard time about the fact that she is texting so much (in good fun, of course), but she has pointed out that it's the easiest way for her to stay connected to people!

  2. I think it's all about the individual. My sister is an extreme introvert, so (to me) she looks lonely. She also homeschools which I think adds A LOT to her plate and stress level because she's responsible for not only just being the mom and wife but also the teacher!

  3. My blog became my lifeline when I was a SAHM. That's how I was able to connect with other moms/women, especially once we moved. There aren't a ton of SAHM in our area/my circles, so that was really hard.

    I am curious how this will change for you as Aaron stops enjoying the quiet time and Oliver becomes more on the move. I found the year my kids were 1 and 3 was my most challenging SAHM year ever.

    I wonder how you would feel if Adam was home every night at 6. I loved my afternoons of "alone time" when Rachel napped and Sam had quiet time, but after Sam went to school, Rachel stopped napping, and Dave was home at 5, I had people wanting me to interact with them from 7am - 10pm and it was EXHAUSTING.