Thursday, October 6, 2016

SAHM vs Working Mom: Control

The SAHM vs Working Mom Feud. 
Is one harder than the other? 
Countless articles and blogs would claim they are equal. 
But here I am weighing in with my no-one-cares-about opinion. 

I've been 3 years a Working Mom and 5 months a SAHM. 
So far I can say without question:

SAHM is wayyyyy easier. 



I know that when you think screaming infants and tantruming toddlers, 
"control" isn't the first thing to pop into your head. 
BUT that's not the kind of control I'm talking about. 

All 3 of my jobs (audit, finance, finance) were white collar jobs in Corporate America. 
 The job consisted of a variety reports, projects, and assignments 
all with deadlines that drove decision making. 
These had to be done and overall there wasn't much flexibility. 

Now, there were certainly flexible parts of the job. 
Adjusted hours, work-from-home days, 
and every now and then the occasional playing hookey. 

But overall, deadlines were deadlines 
and if I had a crappy night's sleep or a sick kid, 
I still had to find a way to finalize that presentation or get those entries in for close. 
The very effort of NOT doing my job 
(say, for example, handing it to a coworker), 
usually took twice as long as doing it myself. 

Twice I trained coworkers for maternity leave 
and the training session on a 30-minute task easily took an hour (or much more). 

Contrast that to staying home. 

What are my deadlines? 
What are my projects/assignments? 
Kids need to be fed and go to nap. 
Laundry needs to be done. 
Dinner needs to be made. 
And if I have a crappy night's sleep or a sick kid, what happens? 
We can be couch zombies and eat take-out, no big deal. 
I'm not saying I've done it yet but I've come close. 

There's no pressure of "OMG this has to get done so it can be presented to the board tomorrow." 
Everything I need to do is completely within my control. 
I can change my day on a whim based on the moods of my children 
(or hell, my own). 

And that flexibility right there is just so awesome. 
In that sense, I think a SAHM is way easier than a working mom. 
To avoid turning this post into a novel, 
I'm not going to delve into other pros and cons.
 I am compiling a list in my head and will try to get it down in a blog post. 

Oh, and just so this isn't a totally pictureless post... 
here's a photo of Oliver sitting up in our bed and loving it. 

Also I can't wait to paint our bedroom walls!


  1. Not the point, but I love your bedding (and that cute baby)! I really do find it interesting to hear your thoughts on the SAHM vs. working mom roles so keep it coming. I know staying at home is by no means a walk in the park, but I agree that it would be nice to be the one planning out our days/schedules/lives instead of my employer. Boo.

  2. I have obviously never done both jobs, but I think a SAHM is harder because you are NEVER alone and RARELY get to do what you want. If I want to have lunch with a friend on a whim, I can. Adult conversations happen ALL THE TIME. I sit down all day (not that this is necessarily good for me, ha). I feel like my SAHMs are ALWAYS on duty whereas since my hubby and I both work, we split the after work responsibilities and both indulge in outside activities (going to see The Girl on the Train tonight!), etc. Now what I find harder is the house stuff for a working mom - laundry can't really be done in the middle of the day or dinner prepped etc. EXCEPT for people like me who work from home - now that right there is a pretty awesome combo - especially since due to my job flexibility I get about 2+ hours more/day with my kiddos than people with a strict 8-5 schedule... Sorry for the novel!

  3. I did enjoy having the flexibility to scrap our plans and stay home all day or flex our schedule according to our needs. But it was also nice, after four years as a SAHM, to have deadlines again and people (not just my family) depending on me to do something.

    I agree with Allena that, thus far, being a part-time WAHM is THE BEST!!! And I was a full-time WOHM for a year and a SAHM for four years.