Thursday, April 13, 2017

You lied about 4

Terrible 2s. 
Traumatic 3s. 
Fabulous 4s. 

A month ago, I ran into a former coworker 
- literally ran as I was out for a run - 
who was aghast to find out Aaron was almost 4 
("I met you when you were pregnant!") 
and then proceeded to tell me how much he loved the 4 age 
and every day tells his 11 year old daughter how he wishes she could be 4 again. 

Well guess what? 

IT'S ALL LIES. 

 IT IS NOT THE FABULOUS 4s. 
IT IS THE FUCKING AWFUL 4s. 



The tantrums that were supposed to magically melt away have not done so. 
True, they may be slightly fewer between, 
but they continue with a particular new level of aggression. 

Example: The Two Hour Tantrum 

Last week, Aaron threw a two hour tantrum. 
Literally, threw
As in, he was in his room for TWO HOURS THROWING SHIT. 
My sister, who had been babysitting when this tantrum commenced, 
texted me: "You may need a new bedroom door." 
To which I replied: "Might be easier to just get a new child." 


When I arrived home, I removed everything from his room. 
Every book. 
Every toy. 
Every possible movable object. 
And still the tantrum continued. 

Finally, at the end of 2 hours while I was nursing Oliver to bed, 
Aaron came quietly into Oliver's room, 
sat in the rocker next to me, 
and held me hand. 
It was pretty sweet. 
Good thing too, because I was about to submit the up-for-adoption papers. 


A few days later, I asked the pediatrician at his 4-month checkup: 
"When do the tantrums stop?" 
And she looked at me with a smirk and say: "Age 18 when they move out." 

At least someone is honest!

4 comments:

  1. I don't know what you're talking about- Colby and Clara have been perfect angels ever since the clock struck midnight on their birthday... no whining, no impatience, no bickering, and certainly no backtalk! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree! I think 4 is worse for Drew than 3 was!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have heard them called the "Ferocious Fours." I felt a lot better about that age once a friend told me that kids get a rush of hormones around age 4 that is similar to the ones which hit as teenagers. It helped explain why my previously well behaved son suddenly destroyed everything in his path.

    And I think, sadly, your pediatrician is right -- Rachel, at almost 6, is STILL having tantrums and meltdowns almost every day. Gah. Thankfully, Sam at 8, has pretty much outgrown them but those pre-teen hormones should be hitting any year now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're doing all the right things! Don't back down! The best thing you can do is be consistent. When it's no, it's no and when you're four, sometimes that takes two hours to accept. Hopefully next time it will take 1.5 hours to accept, then 1 hour, then 45 min, then a half hour, then fifteen and then it'll probably stay there forever hahaha.

    ReplyDelete