Monday, May 1, 2017

6 Years of Marriage

As of yesterday at 4pm, Adam and I have been married 6 years. 
As of this coming August, we will have known each other for 10 years. 
And dated for, er, maybe 9.5?  
(Somewhere around there; the dating line a bit fuzzy.) 

In these 6 years of being married,
 we have done the following: 

1. Had two children. 
2. Graduated law school [Adam] 
3. Graduated a part-time MBA program [me] 
4. Sold our first house. 
5. Bought our second house. 

The New York Times published an article about change in marriage
which had a great quotation I'd like to share: 

"I've had at least three marriages, 
all with the same person" 

The author's three marriages:
1. Partying 20s. 
2. Child-centric 30s. 
3. Homeowner 40s. 

Adam and I are most definitely in our "second marriage"
 (child-centric / homeowner 30s), 
which, needless to say, 
is vastly different than our "first marriage" in our partying 20s. 

And while sometimes I miss the freedom of our partying 20s, 
I will say that our child-centric 30s is absolutely awesome. 

We fought a lot in our partying 20s, 
trying to figure out our roles in each other's life, 
but our child-centric 30s is very comfortable, 
as in we know each other, 
we know the role we play, 
and we know how to work with it. 

We spent our anniversary out in the city while my sister babysat. 
First we ate at Devon Seafood, which was outstanding. 
Our server gave us the cutest complimentary champagne toast: 
little candles in the strawberries! 

...followed by the Helium Comedy Club, 
where we ended up front and center with the comedian. 
We laughed hysterically and had a great time. 

That night was an ever-so-small glimpse into what our "next marriage" may look like. 
Most likely not in our 40s (I think we'll still be very child-centric there), 
but definitely by our 50s 
when the kids are out and have their own lives, 
and we can go back to just him & me. 
It's exciting to imagine what we may do together. 
Since we already own a home, it probably will not be our "homeowner 50s," 
but perhaps our "traveling 50s" 
or "enthusiastic sports fans 50s" 
or "golfing 50s" (if I ever care to learn). 
Who knows! 
That's the exciting part: waiting to find out!


  1. Happy Anniversary to you two!!!

    I LOVE the idea of each decade being its own thing and aspect of marriage. What a neat concept.

  2. Happy Anniversary! It's an interesting idea that you can have multiple marriages/big chapters within a marriage. I agree with the concept. My husband and I will be married 7 years in September but don't have children. Although we haven't crossed the big milestone into parenthood, I think we are in our second marriage. We had our twenties which was a lot of career stumbling, partying, buying a house and growing up. This second marriage has been wonderful and I think has made it harder for us to think about kids! We both have grad degrees and have settled in our careers which means we have money to travel. We have been on great trips and really enjoyed a more adult freedom together. The plan is to have kids and we're moving in that direction. Guess we all do things a bit differently!

    1. I think you are doing it a very healthy way! Enjoying the freedom and travel now so you won't begrudge missing out on it when you do have children.

  3. Happy anniversary!! You two have accomplished quite a bit in just 6 years of marriage so props to you :)

  4. Happy anniversary!! I think the 'new baby' marriage is the hardest - Brent and I argue the most in this phase bc babies are hard! So glad we are on our last one, ha!! I am excited to see what the future brings for both of us!! We have been married for 12.5 years and together 20!!