And it's awful.
I remember back in my single days "going out" to the bar with girlfriends,
checking out cute guys and
working up the nerve to go talk to them
or willing them to talk to me.
There was alcohol involved
and a gaggle of girlfriends to back me up.
Now replace "bar" with library or playground or playplace.
Replace "cute guys" with other moms.
Replace "gaggle of girlfriends" with a baby/toddler who has zero social skills.
Oh and there's no alcohol.
The last part is key.
My First SAHM-Dating Experience:
There was a mom at the library with two boys,
almost about the same age as Aaron and Oliver.
Aaron and her oldest played great at the library.
We chatted a bit and realized she lived one niehgborhood over from me.
Then when we left the library, I saw she owned the EXACT same car only in a different color.
It was a sign, right?
I worked up the nerve
(this is where alcohol would have helped,
but sadly it's socially frowned upon to drink and drive - ha)
and went over to ask if we could do a park playdate sometime.
We exchanged numbers.
When I got home, she texted:
"I saw your license plate is Penn State. My husband and I went there too!"
I mean, it was our destiny right?
Boys the same ages.
A neighborhood away.
Exact same car.
And went to the same college.
I won't pretend I didn't dream up all these scenarios where we'd be BFF-SAHM.
I totally did.
Then came our first park playdate.
I was so pumped.
I meticulously picked out my outfit,
trying to make sure that I looked like a put-together SAHM,
but also making sure I didn't try too hard.
So basically, a Penn State fitted Tee, jeans, and Converse shoes.
And then did the makeup check and deodorant triple-check.
So we meet at the park and the boys start playing
and I try to strike up a conversation.
Me: "So you guys went to Penn State?"
Me: "Have you been back recently?"
Her: "Not really."
Me: "We went up for a getaway weekend last year."
Her: "Oh that's cool."
Insert a few dozen more inquiries and nothing.
She absolutely could not hold a conversation.
I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me.
I mean, I am one of those people who can usually have a conversation with anyone.
Including a wall.
But like, I just kept throwing it out there
and she absolutely could not hit it back.
And it wasn't like we couldn't hold a conversation because we were pulled in separate directions.
It was a small park and we were the only ones there.
So distraction was not an issue.
We had one or two more park play dates before it got too cold,
and finally I just called a quit.
It was too awkward and too painful.
After that, I honestly gave up on SAHM-Dating.
I know, I know, one failure and out makes me a loser.
Second SAHM-Dating Experience:
A few months ago, I embarked on my NY Resolutions to take Aaron to church.
We found a church and they had a family Mac'N'Cheese bakeoff night.
Aaron and I went and we ran into this other family
with kids the same age and lived a neighborhood away too.
We chatted and had a good night.
Then parted ways (no phone numbers exchanged).
Funny thing is I kept running into the mom and her kids.
I ran into her at the zoo.
I ran into her at Target.
And every time we would stop and chat for like 10 minutes,
much to the chagrin of our antsy children.
This last time, she was telling me about a splash pad mere 10 minutes from our house,
and suggested exchanging numbers to go sometime.
I texted her yesterday that we were going
and miracle of miracles, she was available!
We had a great time.
Granted, we spent a lot of it running after our kids,
and consoling cranky little toddlers and whatnot,
but anytime we were in the vicinity of each other,
we could actually hold a continuous conversation without awkward breaks!
Now of course becomes the next step of dating...
how long before you call?
And whose turn is it?
Do I text her next week suggesting a playdate?
Is it her turn to text?
SOMEONE MAKE A MANUAL FOR THIS.